Hello everyone,

Today is a different day, a very different day for me. You all know me as a writer and a poet who keeps disturbing you by posting some really depressing poetry. Some of you like it, some of you don't. Some of you sincerely read it and comment that you loved it, some of you don't bother to even visit it. But that's okay, I am not judging anyone for that.
Today I am not here to post another depressing poetry or anything. Today I am here to address an issue that has been eating me alive for a very long time. This topic doesn't actually have any name, it's like predator that has eaten many dreams alive and I am one of the victim.
I was in a very well educated family of doctors. My childhood was not how it would have been for some other kid. It was very dreadful. I am sorry I cannot tell you why, but it was. I never went out to play, or make any friends, i was always busy in competition in becoming the best. My family wanted me to be the best and I was stupid enough to let them ruin my childhood. From the age of four, my brain was stuffed by the pressure that I HAD to become a doctor. Not directly, but indirectly. I was ten and never knew what it was to go out, make friends and I started to become more introverted. And I completely blame others for that.
Usually a ten year old doesn't even know what a career is, but I knew.

As I grew, I started to become more aware of my dreams. I always wanted to become a doctor but my talent was writing. I always had a very high imagination and I know sounds as if I am bragging, but I am proud of my talent which is so much suppressed by everyone. And now, I have had enough. I am done being victim. I wanted to become a Writer, wanted to create different worlds, wanted to let my demons out by holding a pen and letting every inch of imagination out. But here I am doing what I hate the most, learning why a ball rolls and what is the velocity of an electronic at different levels, doing what I always hated. Which is the first reason for me to hate my own country skiing much.

I blame Indian Education System for what I am going through right now. "Only those who are good at maths and are doctors and engineers deserve to live" is the motto of this country. That's why when I told my family that I wanted to become a writer they laughed at me. This country has no respect for talents. I apologize if I am hurting any patriots here,  but what I am saying is the truth. There are no choices in this county. And then there is this typical Indian mentality that if a child is not in Science stream,  then that child is not intelligent. That child is just too unintelligent to understand "difficult concepts".

I am in the last stage of depression and anxiety. I cry myself to sleep every night and think that why was I even born here. Because of this stupid country I am living a life worse than death. Why is there no choice? No freedom? And if people think that their country is the best then why people like me get that sudden urge of committing suicide and ending all the misery. All I ever wanted was to live and be happy but this country and it's hopeless mentality denied me of that. People will think that I am just a little girl but no, I am not, even if I am young, I have seen more pain than any other "adult".

I refuse to suffer any longer. I have not committed any single by choosing to become something innovative and creative. I have a life and I have a mind of my own and no other person rules it. But still I am prisoner in this dreadful society. Yes, I agree that I am in depression, anxiety, I am highly suicidal but I don't deserve this pain. The government needs to realise, this country needs to realise that we all deserve choices in our lives and if they can't give people like me the choices we deserve, then this country is a murderer who has murdered thousands of dreams and lives. I will choose death in a heartbeat over living a life of regrets, but I will not die unless I confirm that more people like me don't suffer.

Please share this blog to as many people as you can. Let this issue reach the higher authorities. Please don't let more dreams like me die before they even reach death.